500 Shades of Colour

In honour of Valentine’s day and the release of the ground-shaking and orgasm-inducing movie “50 Shades of Grey”, I thought this might be a good time to get back to blogging. There’s quite a buzzing sound and a whole lot of good vibrations about the release of this movie in America on a day honouring a Catholic Saint beheaded around 270 AD. Lots of pre-sale tickets were lapped up in Mississippi and other bastions of christianity here in America for the R-rated exhibition. Permission or not, people just couldn’t hold out.

Meanwhile, the reaction in other countries has been a little less phallical. Spontaneous laughter ejaculated from the mouths of people attending a screening of the movie at a Berlin film festival. Some Germans didn’t think the bondage and sadomasochistic sex scenes were all that titillating — at least for European audiences. In France, the movie got a PG-12 rating with some on the board arguing for no restraints at all because of the casualness with which the movie presents sadomasochism. According to CNC president Jean-Francois Mary: “Fifty Shades of Grey is really a romance, we could even call it a bleuette – a sentimental tale.” Ouch! That might leave a mark! Gee, I’d hate to think that ratings assigned by folks with secret bondage rooms in their houses are affected by marketers. Who’s the boss?

On a more personal note, I wrote about Repressing Erotica on my blog once, and in the first post ever I said “Unlike previous blogs I’ve done, I won’t be going off on satirical rants or sharing my perspectives on issues.” Well, call me undisciplined. I laughed through my 50 Shades of Grey phase with a girlfriend way back in my early twenties before moving on to less superficial connections. Lately, I learned that some younger people I know are gossiping about the possibility that I might be Autism spectrum or somehow simple minded. They really need this movie! Funny how things get all backwards: intimacy and abuse get swapped and apparently people who see 500 shades of colour (having studied theatre, writing, and film) are submissive or passive or … please tell me what I am! (Sarcasm intended!)

Anyway, I’ll still post the more mundane writing stuff, but I think I need to go on a good satirical rant every now and then, if only so that people who see the world in 50 shades of gray might learn a little from someone with blue eyes (not balls) who sees 500 shades of colour.


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