An Alternative Theory for the Extinction of the Dinosaurs

Throwing it back to March 8, 2013…. I just spent some time going over old blogs, and I found some strange and humorous stuff I used to write. Everything feels so serious lately, so I thought I’d pull some of this old stuff out to break up the dredge of darker tone I take these days. This was originally part of a blog called The Writers Room that I kept from July 2009 to July 2013.

An Alternative Theory for the Extinction of the Dinosaurs

It said that the dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago when an asteroid hit the Earth and created a ‘winter’ of sorts. That very well could be true, but I had an alternative theory for the extinction of the dinosaurs pop into my head, and it’s all about sex.

The male dinosaurs sat around thinking of sex too much, all kinds of ways to have it, and they were aroused all the time. Whenever they tried to get up to go calling on the female dinosaur of their dreams, they tripped over themselves. By the time they got up and dusted themselves off, the moment had passed.

The female dinosaurs were quite lonely as a result of this, and they felt unattractive. To enhance their possibilities they started presenting their cleavage in increasingly tantalizing ways, thinking that this would attract more male dinosaurs to come calling. As they became more and more provocative, their ability to move around and meet the male dinosaurs halfway decreased. They ended up sitting around and looking pretty hoping that was enough.

Of course, this only made the male dinosaurs have greater fantasies and trip over themselves more, making the female dinosaurs think that their cleavage wasn’t enticing enough. And so on….

This also explains why dinosaurs evolved into birds. Only the ones that took themselves lightly and were satisfied with being ‘bird-breasted’ procreated. So while the big dinosaurs only had sex in their fantasies, the other dinosaurs kept keeping it real and eventually evolved into birds.

It all makes sense if you think about it, and I think we have a lot to learn from this.


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