Crotch Face

A new superhero is born, and we shall call him Crotch Face. Oh the perils of being a writer with an eidetic imagination linked to memory.

I sometimes wonder if strange things only happen to writers or if we are the only ones paying attention. Over the last several weeks I’ve been working a temp contract at a corporation ‘auditioning’ for a full time job as a tech writer. It was mostly okay and some good things happened, but there’s always the weirdness, corporations are breeding grounds for it like some Tinea cruris infection.

During a hectic time working on a big document, this guy I didn’t know got in my face, not with his face but with his crotch. All because I forgot to CC him on a reply-all email, so he didn’t get to be the superhero telling the next team I had finished my work on something. He sat down on the desk in my cube with his crotch 2 feet from my face and told me to look at him, asking if we were going to ‘have a problem’. I rolled my chair back and said “if you keep talking to me this way we will.” He ran to human resources to complain about my insubordination. Now every time I see him walking thru the office I don’t see his face, I see a crotch. I guess you could say he made an impression. lol

Hey, this is Tucson. The heat. Crotch rot can get a hold. This guy is trying to fit into this corporate cult, trying to live the American dream. Turns out he was the head of a department and had an Arab last name, probably a religious upbringing. Probably thinks he has made the big time and that means getting over people to make them bow to his glory. Or maybe he just needs to air it out. idk. We’ve all got to get our thrills somewhere, and if you spend too much time at work you got to get them there. Too bad for him, it turns out I wasn’t a good ‘fit’ for the job. You might think that blows, but I felt relived to hear that. He’ll have to find someone else’s face to stick his crotch in.


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