I had an odd week. There’s lots on my mind, and it’s coming to me in a bunch of little stories, a bunch of odds and ends like the Abbey Road album or an anthology of shorts. I can’t say these are traumas so much as they are irksome incidents to rankle with in the wee hours of a restless night. Continue Reading
This is a bit more personal than I usually get in a blog post these days. It kind of breaks the fourth wall of hiding behind a pen name, if there is such a thing.
About ten days ago I had one of my worst falls ever while hiking. Continue Reading
About eight to ten years ago, I became largely silent on ideology and sociopolitical writing and talk. Lately, I’ve been considering the effects of not speaking up. The decision to remain mostly silent grew out of two separate circumstances. Trolls on the internet and Continue Reading
Sociopolitical. This seems like an old word, and I wonder if people use it much anymore. It simply means ‘combining social and political factors’. I’m making it a new tag in this blog so that I can share some notions on my mind during these novel times in America. Continue Reading
Splitsville, that’s the feeling.
I spent the month of July in Colorado with a notion that I would relocate there. Nothing ever developed that made me feel like Colorado would become ‘home’, and it seemed easier to go back to Tucson until next spring…see how I feel then. Continue Reading
There’s this thing that keeps happening to me in Tucson, and it’s quite the conundrum because it hasn’t happened anywhere else quite like this. People dispose of me from their lives. They dispose of other people too, so I know it isn’t just me. It’s never about me. I’m just the latest Continue Reading
My Mother died this year, so this is my first Mother’s day without her. Since she died I’ve been expecting moments when the ‘grief‘ caught up to me. Instead something rather unexpected has happened. Up in the mountains while hiking, I’ve had moments of wonderment, epiphany, a wholesome feeling of ‘Mother’, creator and artist…bringing me to tears. Continue Reading
I just finished streaming the first season of Star Trek Discovery with a free week of CBS All Access on Amazon. This is a personal review of the show and thoughts connected to ‘Trek’— spoilers ahead. Let me say up front, lest I sound a bit arrogant or fan-boyish, that once upon a time I pitched stories to Michael Taylor when he was an Executive Producer on Star Trek: Voyager. It’s the closest I ever got to being somebody of note. Continue Reading
I wrote a blog post many years ago called ‘Liability Shields Can’t Stop Bullets’. It was a provocative piece about shootings, and it almost made its way into my first novel. I decided not to include it in the book because it weighted the closing in a strange way, opening up a new theme as the story ended. In that context, I felt the piece might be misunderstood as an attempt to justify shootings or appease shooters. Continue Reading
There’s a Lunar eclipse this morning during the blue blood moon of January 31st. To me it feels connected to another eclipse which occurred on July 6, 1982. That’s the day my father died, and now my mother is facing the final days of her life.
If she passed tonight, those two days would become forever connected in my mind. Life is rarely so neat and precise. My father passed rather suddenly of a heart attack while my mom lingers on with a weak heart and other ailments. Only two months ago she felt fine, but now she’s a completely different person in home hospice care. Death’s doorstep—we’ve all been given some time to let go.
61 and 88, the final ages of my parents. They were part of the World War Two generation. I felt like I got to say a good goodbye when I went back east to visit. She kissed my hand when I said goodbye. She seems ready to go, and I am ready to let her go. I don’t want her to linger on.
The moon is turning red. And it’s been a long time coming.
My Mother passed away on the morning of February 2nd.