My Mother died this year, so this is my first Mother’s day without her. Since she died I’ve been expecting moments when the ‘grief‘ caught up to me. Instead something rather unexpected has happened. Up in the mountains while hiking, I’ve had moments of wonderment, epiphany, a wholesome feeling of ‘Mother’, creator and artist…bringing me to tears. Continue Reading
There’s a Lunar eclipse this morning during the blue blood moon of January 31st. To me it feels connected to another eclipse which occurred on July 6, 1982. That’s the day my father died, and now my mother is facing the final days of her life.
If she passed tonight, those two days would become forever connected in my mind. Life is rarely so neat and precise. My father passed rather suddenly of a heart attack while my mom lingers on with a weak heart and other ailments. Only two months ago she felt fine, but now she’s a completely different person in home hospice care. Death’s doorstep—we’ve all been given some time to let go.
61 and 88, the final ages of my parents. They were part of the World War Two generation. I felt like I got to say a good goodbye when I went back east to visit. She kissed my hand when I said goodbye. She seems ready to go, and I am ready to let her go. I don’t want her to linger on.
The moon is turning red. And it’s been a long time coming.
My Mother passed away on the morning of February 2nd.
Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monuments. These are the latest sacrificial lands in the great public lands battle in America. I’ve been thinking of writing about this for some time, but it comes forward now because I recently flew over Grand Staircase in a plane. It’s a beautiful place, or so it looks from (near) space. And it seems there’s some idiots who can’t really see that. Continue Reading
“Writers are tortured souls.” Someone spoke those words to me about two-and-a half years ago, and they still ring true—at least for the American writer. I wonder why that’s so, and I realize it’s the reality we create. Continue Reading
This is from January 12, 2008. Lately, it feels like I have arrived here again. Continue Reading
I honestly confess that I shed a tear today upon hearing that Prince passed away at age 57. I’m not exactly sure why. I was never a big Prince fan, but his music did hold a place within me. I think my sorrow had to do with the intersection of three things: the sorry state of popular American music today, being so spoiled with music in my life that someone as dedicated and talented as Prince wasn’t all that important to me, and most importantly thinking about the creativity and love of music that many of my personal friends have shared with me. Continue Reading
Full Title: Know Me — By Way of Explanation: A Narrative of My Life in Tucson as it Relates to a Hiking Group, Musings from a Writer in the Desert
One of the ideas behind being a creative writer or artist is never to explain yourself to people who don’t get you. Like many things these days, I find myself looking at that idea anew. It feels like few people understand the creative mind anymore, and there’s so many false assumptions that seem to be taking root again. Everyone is putting everyone else into a cage, and I think it’s high time to break out of pigeon-holing with some open communication. Continue Reading
“Depression and karma were running a race, one tripped over the other and fell flat on their face.”
The question is, which one tripped? Better yet, is depression largely the result of bad karma?
“Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station.” Nerds quote this line from the emperor, followed by a little laugh. I’m not a big Star Wars fan, but I always thought the little laugh was because most of us nerd types go through life functioning so below our operational abilities that the thought of being fully operational feels so dark side. Meanwhile we see a lot of other people who are caught up and running full tilt climbing a career ladder that usually leads to a better view from a larger cubicle. Continue Reading